Sean Tucker recently came over to the isle of Harris to make a documentary on my creative life for his YouTube channel. Touching in Introversion and my path through life.
Vulnerability and being visible online is explored in this episode.
You can watch the documentary here:
www.youtube.com/@seantuck
Sean's website
Sean's Instagram
Sign up to the next Creative Light Festival here:
https://creative-light.co.uk/
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Follow me on Instagram:
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Sean Tucker recently came over to the isle of Harris to make a documentary on my creative life for his YouTube channel. Touching in Introversion and my path through life.
Vulnerability and being visible online is explored in this episode.
You can watch the documentary here:
www.youtube.com/@seantuck
Sean's website
Sean's Instagram
Sign up to the next Creative Light Festival here:
https://creative-light.co.uk/
Sign up to my newsletter to hear first about new retreats:
Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/margaretsoraya/
Join my online Creative Haven community :
https://creative-haven.newzenler.com
I'm sitting outside tonight on my doorstep and it's getting quite late. We've had the most beautiful sunny, warm weather and I've been out on the beach all day and I wanted to record today but I just didn't find the time and it's quite windy. But tonight it's a clear night and the stars are just coming out. We've had the most beautiful sunset and I find quite a lot of peace on my doorstep actually and a lovely view. There's some sheep in the background and it's just a really still night. So I wanted to be outside to record this because I somehow feel it's easier recording outside.
Speaker 1:This podcast is all about the only documentary that is released today on Sean Tucker's YouTube channel, and it was one of those moments when there's a kind of conflict between being really grateful and, I guess, kind of honoured to be asked to do this and completely terrified. Sean makes the most beautiful documentaries on some really interesting people who are not necessarily those who have the biggest names in photography or are the best name, which makes it even more relevant. Some really inspiring, interesting, talented artists are completely unknown and it's just lovely to see somebody go into so much effort to tell their stories. I was exploring how anxious I felt about this documentary, wondering if everyone felt like this, I suppose, and I was wanting to make it absolutely. But I was also worried about, I guess, about the lack of control and completely trusting someone else to film and to make something about you. It was very difficult. Actually I hadn't appreciated it, but I did let go and just trust it in the end, because I knew that, because I know that Sean has a great talent and he just knows what he's doing. But it was in exploring these feelings about seeing it for the first time and knowing that it will be out on this large YouTube channel, and I've been thinking about vulnerability in relation to this and for me this is the most vulnerable it gets.
Speaker 1:It wasn't that long ago that I wouldn't be seen in pictures or photographs and video was not even in the realm of possibility, self-acceptance being just the way we are and accepting that is a journey for most people, and fear of criticism is just human. Now I began showing up live on social media and film myself a good few years ago. I was never really wanting to have a huge YouTube channel or anything, but I was wanting to share my life, my thoughts and some of the incredible places that I go to with others. I began to find a meaning and a purpose in this showing up and almost just getting over that fear and that vulnerability of being on camera. It was a great step forward for me, but YouTube isn't known for being the kindest platform ever. And actually my conversation just a few weeks ago with Adele and Max Warner Tate we touched on why there are so few women on YouTube and I think that's kind of completely relevant now and I have heard it said that it's because women fear being criticised for what they look like or mean comments maybe, and it's maybe slightly more likely to happen on YouTube than other channels, and maybe that's part of how I was feeling this week, even though I know most people who do criticise from a distance come from a place of their own insecurity and lack of self-worth. But that doesn't make it any easier. So I found it really interesting.
Speaker 1:I stumbled across a Brené Brown radio today and I was just hooked on it. She spoke about her sudden rise in visibility and how the desire not to feel exposed and vulnerable inspires us to stay small and we shrink and almost absorb in distraction instead and we just play small. And she spoke about a quote that she read from Theodore Roosevelt that changed everything. For and I'm just going to read that to you it's not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, who comes short again and again because there's no effort without error or shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who at best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So this prompted Brené to think about vulnerability, and she said vulnerability is not about winning or losing, it's about having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. And she was saying, basically, we are hardwired to care about what other people think, but we need to be also be intentional about who we accept feedback from what I love as a quote from her. And she says if you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback.
Speaker 1:I was driving quite a lot today, so as I was driving, I was listening and thinking this through, knowing that this video is going to be released tomorrow. I'm recording this on Thursday night and it was a really interesting and uplifting process to explore this. So anyway, basically, if you go to Sean Tucker's YouTube channel, you'll be able to see this documentary, and it's all about something that's very close to my heart, and I was actually really taken by the way that Sean managed to drag this story out of me and put it together into a logical and legible process, I suppose, and to show all the different aspects of my life. But to bring it back to the heart of it is the idea of being an introvert, being a quiet person, and how that ties in with my creative life, and I guess that also brings it home to me as to one of the reasons I feel so driven and inspired to speak, to share, to be visible, to be vulnerable, and one of those reasons is that I always felt very unseen, unheard and lesser of a person when I was young because I was very quiet and it always seemed to me that it would be a better person if I was to speak more, if I was going to take part more, and I felt that growing up and I didn't really manage to understand or come to terms with that until very late on. So when I was 35, I started to understand introversion. In fact, it was probably the first time that I actually explored it or heard of it, which seems crazy now to me. But the pivotal moment was when I was exploring this and starting to understand that, as introvert, it was a powerful trait actually, and it was a very good quality, especially as a creative.
Speaker 1:A lot of creatives are introverts. A lot of landscape photographers tend to be introverts and it lends itself naturally because you find it very easy to spend that alone time in the landscape that you need to be creative. So there's great positives there. But that's not to say that being an extravert is any lesser, it's just different. It's just that society often upholds those that speak out and speak a bit louder and are a little bit more extravert. So, as an introvert, I just realized what I need to do to be able to show up and speak and film and be out there and do the work that I think is really important and that is sharing this knowledge that I gained during that period of learning and understanding what in is and feeling better about myself.
Speaker 1:Go and watch the documentary. I'm sure that no one's going to leave me any mean comments anyone that I know anyway so please do head over to Sean's YouTube channel to watch it and let me know what you think that would be. It would be very helpful. Now it is growing dark and the stars are coming out, so I am going to wrap this up and I will be back with you next week. I've got quite a few amazing and interesting guests coming up on the podcast in the coming weeks, so stay with me and I will see you on the next episode. Take care for now.